XmAs..

25th dec 05

Merry xmas to all.. sry 4 d late post cos recently v lazy 2 post abt xmas.. tis yr xmas wasnt gd.. last yr was beta.. bt i doesnt matter cos what's over is over, no use ponderin over it.. anyway wana thk d followin ppl 4 their lovely xmas gifts :)
~huiwen 4 d jar of tasty cookie n cards, weiyu 4 d 'willmill' n mabia 4 d nv ever melt snowman ;)

~chia hui 4 her nice xmas decon duno who 4 d purse n d jewellery inside..

~cailing 4 d bear keychain n sweet n aar 4 d m&m..

~geraldine 4 d runnin man notebk, steven 4 d taka jewellery n sum1 4 d gift xchg present..

~qinyan 4 d 4eva frenz bear :)

~andrew 4 d levis skirt ;D

TeArS...

tears..
im really tired of them..
i wish i hav more strong mentality lyk in d past.. d gal who doesnt cry on the outside.. bt i guess strong mentality cant b crushed down by ppl n their acts..
i oso duno y when i wana cry, i cant.. when i dun wana cry, i cry.. :'(

cLs OuTiN...

22dec..

arhhh... woke up late.. woke up at 3pm -_-".. 1st time i woke up so late.. no1 woke me up :'(

i quickly rush down 2 cathay cinneleisure for d cls outin movie "the chronicles of narnia- the lion, the wardrobe n the witch".. i reached at 4pm.. d tix r with me so i hav 2 rushed down.. i hav already bot d tix on sat cos most slot r sold out so i hav 2 bk earlier n today is d 1st day of d show.. 13 ppl so 13 tix so $104.. hehe.. 1st time handlin so much tix.. we sat at row J occupied d whole row.. there r me, huiwen, cailing, mabia, jiahui, serene, charm, woeiluen, kaiyu, aar, yang n seng n a mystery person (tt's 4 us 2 koe n 4 u 2 find out).. the trailers of d show looked so fantastic, however the movie really disappointed me:(

aft d show, we took neoprints.. finally we found a machine 2 fit us all.. bt d 1st neoprints we took wasnt gd cos we din read instructions :( so it turned up d same pic:(.. d 2nd 1 was definitely beta.. we decided 2 go eat steamboat 4 dinner bt sum ppl so shao xing wan go sumwhere else so in d end oni 8 of us left.. d food was nt bad n we cn even bbq d seafd n meat 2 eat.. aft d meal, we left a lotsa uncooked food.. we quickly sneak off b4 d person cum 2 us n charge us 4 d leftover fd.. haha..

it was arcade time.. haha so long nv step in2 arcade le.. seriously it has been yrs since i last stepped into an arcade (c i so guai :P) haha.. d guys played daytona (i tink it is spelled tis way..) woeiluen tried so hard 2 win sum1.. he seemed 2 b "blowin" n "spoiltin" d whole machine off.. *gurp* -_-" (woeiluen my ah pa, try harder nxt time bt pls dun spoilt d machine f nt all of us dun koe u.. hehe :P)

it was a fun day i shld say cos it was d 1st time, tt so mani of us turned up 4 d cls outin ;)

oRaNgE..

took a personality test abt ur "true colour".. here is my result..

What's Your True Color?
ChRiStYNa, your true color is Orange!

You're a bold, confident orange. A warm, powerful color that indicates a strong, welcoming personality, orange is the mark of people who are social and extroverted by nature. Vibrant, with an upbeat attitude, you have a bright, inviting demeanor. Energetic and fun-loving, you're a real friend-magnet. Your easy charm and unassuming manner make you the sort of person people want to meet and get to know better. Well-rounded and fun to be around, you enjoy helping others, so it's no surprise that orange also symbolizes attraction. Orange is an extraordinary color — for an extraordinary person.

haha lucky im nt yellow.. mabia is.. wahahaha..

HaRm..

d LaSt PeRsOn LiKeLy tO HuRt U, MaY b D 1St..

d WoRd H-A-P-P-Y...

H-A-P-P-Y...
wad is tt?
H-A-P-P-Y is such a simple word..
an easy to pronoun word..
an easy to spell word..
an easy to understand word..
but y such a simple word is so hard to achieve?

PoWeRLeSs->HeLpLeSs->UsELeSs

u koe hw it feels when sum1 needs help n all u cn do is nuttin.. u koe hw it feels? ppl oways cum 2 my "rescue" bt when they need help, i duno wad 2 do, i duno wad hw 2 help.. i really feel so powerless, so helpless, so useless.. haiz.. wad 2 do? no matter hw busy i am, i promised i will oways b free 2 b a listenin ear.. haiz..

HaNd..

saw this frm sum1's msn nick..

iF u R nT d 1, Y dOeS uR HaNd FiT MiNe...

meaninful rite?

d "FoReVa" WoRd

世上没有天长地久，只有成经拥有。

was browsin thru my email ytd.. yes my dear clsmate, im lazy 2 check n del my email so normally u will c 45 msg unread.. i skip to pg 3 of 3 n saw a title tt caught my eyes "frenz foreva".. it was from a frenz who suddenly disappeared frm our world bcos of sum small ting.. so much 4 "frenz foreva".. aft ytd i believe there's no such word call foreva...

Bad Pay DaY =(

gt my pay on fri.. haiz i would say it is a bad pay day!! payday supposed 2 b happy cos cn finally buy things and esp dec which means xmas is here.. so obviously will spend more.. however..

it is also the day i lost both my ezlink card n student card.. uh, hw i lost it? too embarrassed 2 say so.. beta dun ask.. haiz jiu dui le.. anyway tt means i need to spend the trouble gg diff places 2 make d 2 cards n oso 2 spend d "innocent" money.. wad a nice way 2 waste money!!
haiz.. wad a pay day!! y m i so stoopid 2 drop d card at... ... argh!!!

FaLL tO piEcEs- aVriL LaViGnE

I looked away
Then I look back at you
You try to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through

Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

You're the only one
I'd be with 'til the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything, everything

I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you
'Cause i'm in love with you
And I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you

OvEr - LiNdSaY LoHaN

I watch the walls around me crumble
But it's not like I won't build them up again
So here's your last chance for redemption
So take it while it lasts cause it will end
My tears are turning into time
I'm wasting trying to find
a reason for goodbye

Chorus:
I can't live with you
can't breathe without you
I dream about you
Honestly tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning
and I'm still living,
it won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
and I'll be the first to go
don't want to be the last to know

I won't be the one to chase you
But at the same time you're
the heart that I call home
I'm always stuck with these emotions
and the more I try to feel the less I'm whole
My tears are turning into time
I'm wasting trying to find
a reason for goodbye

Chorus:
I can't live with you
can't breathe without you
I dream about you
Honestly tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning
and I'm still living,
it won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over
and I'll be the first to go
don't want to be the last to know

Over,over,over
My tears are turning into time
I'm wasting trying to find
a reason for goodbye

Chorus 2x:
I can't live with you
can't breathe without you
I dream about you
Honestly tell me that it's over
Cause if the world is spinning and I'm still living,
it won't be right if we're not in it together
Tell me that it's over


honestly tell me, honestly tell me
don't tell me that it's over, don't tell me that it's over

iNteNsiVe tLc?

havin u is a dream cum true..
bt tt is also when d nightmare begins..
im so tired of my tears.. im so exhausted, im nt mslf recently, i cn sumtimes bcum kee siao n make ppl ard me happy n myslf "happy" n 2 4gt these sad tings.. y mus i tink so much? y cant i jus live simplier -> happily? im so tired bt i cant slp, i oways hav 2 cry myslf 2 live.. wad is wrong w me? y is this happenin 2 me? y my love lyk so korean drama n ou xiang ju? y? y? y? haiz...

InTeRNaL bLeeDiN..

什么是爱？爱是什么？为什么爱很幸福，也很痛苦?

LeSsOnS i LeArNt...

学好三天，学坏三年。
做坏人比做好人容易。

every1 has at least a hidden characteristic, u may nt koe wad d person is capable of so it is beta to understand d person's characteristic 1st b4 he or she understand urs.. n so u cn understand his or her "future" actions.. tt's d gd points of observer n thinker..

i dun understand y do sum ppl giv in 2 "inconsiderate n slf-centered/selffish" ppl n even tink of their feelins when sum actions nid 2 b taken.. well im 1 of those sum ppl..

"ppl" make use of ppl who r softhearted.. n y when bad tings happen, d softhearted ppl will always treat d "ppl" gd n lyk d way b4?

today i promised myslf sumtin, i koe promise cn b broken bt tis i wont, i will nv let troublemaker off so easy anymore!! cos i wish im nt softhearted anymore..

SuM1's WatChiN oVeR Me- HiLLaRy HuFF

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is just you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
Took this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong

When I'm standing in the dark
I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me
It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me
Someone's watching over me

d DeEp Me..

Ur heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't..
U can't tell ur heart what to do cause it acts on its own...
When u least suspect it, or even when u don't want it to, u will fall for someone least expected..
Have u ever wanted to love someone with everything u had, but that other person was too afraid to let u or u dont know how to show ur love to that person?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care as much or even at all...
Have u ever denied ur feelings for someone because ur fear of r.e.j.e.c.t.i.o.n which is too hard to handle?

Life is all about risks and it requires u to do "stunts"...
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what should have done or could have had..

What would u do if every time u fell in love u had to say good-bye?
What would u do if every time u wanted someone, the person is never there?
What would u do if u loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have that person?
What would u do if the someone u love, doesnt understand u at all?
Would u give up ur happiness jus bcos of stress or softheartedness?

(am i thinkin too much? i duno.. above r my thots.. read snow's blog today.. she sounded so stressed up.. im too.. know y i blog n write in my diary n oways lyk so happy (dine said i oways looked so happy bt i vented everyting in my blog) n keep most tings to myslf? bcos every1 hav their own probs, i dun wan affect other ppl's mood due 2 wad's happenin 2 me.. i miss weiyu so much, recently been botherin her n huiwen abt certain tings.. aft readin snow's blog, mb it's time i shldnt hav bother them so much, they hav their own probs too.. mb im seriously thinkin too much bt i jus cant help it.. mb it's time 4 me 2 live as strong as wad i was in d past n nt wad im now- emotionally weak.. i think im crazy, i wanted 2 giv myslf physical pain when im havin mentality pain n d physical pain mus b more painful den d mentality pain bt in d end i din do anytin hurtful 2 myslf.. i duno wad im doin n thinkin.. all i koe is no1 really understand u, only u koe urslf d best..)

-tears-

QuEsTiOnS...

tis questions hav been "wonderin" in my mind d past few days.. writin here bcos i wan shove them off my mind..

y does one feel extreme tired aft cryin?

y does one hav 2 feel more mental pain than physical pain?

cn sum1 ans my qns?

TeDDy BeAr...

jus a few hrs i already miss sum1.. sum1 who hav flied 2 taiwan early tis mornin n will b back by 13 =(.. haiz, miss d phone call w her.. feelin really down tis few days bcos of sum troublemaker cum spoilt bratz.. i nid sum1 2 tok 2 me.. 13dec seems near bt 2 me it's so far, far away.. really hope she cum back soon.. im so tired.. tired frm... ... now i koe y i named my cip blog is feelin-of-loniness.. n oso now i koe y teddy bears r invented..

teddy bears r invented cos best frenz cant oways b there 4 u...


ms huang cum back soon ok.. miss u so much..

-tearbehindasmile-

sPoiLt BrAtZ...

WaRNiN..
pardon my language!!

gt to know a spoilt bratz ytd... jus less than 1 day of tok i really hav enuf of her crappy SHITSSS, her assumptionsss n make up storiesss!! first she tink tt i'm nt real, cos she choose nt to accept the reality n tink tt i dun exist.. den she started 2 make up stories n assumptions like i dun fit 2 b a good gf, im afraid of her cos of her determination (ha wad a joke, afraid my foot, those who koe me v well koe tt i wont b so intimitated by such small gal..), oso make up stories tt i am troublemaker,3rd party when in reality she is n blahblahblah.. well, cant blame her, she is oni 15, tok, behave, act, think lyk a small gal, thickskinned, desperate, pathetic n pitiful, n jus recovered frm high fever so mb tt did sumtin bad 2 her,her brain.. yaya i koe im bad bt she insulted me 1st.. i hav enuf of her crapsss so i bloggin it down 2 make me calm down.. actually im already calm down, jus tink tt she's seriously mad, cn sum1 help me find d no of hougang chalet? cos i seriously tink tt she nid intensive tlc there.. haha.. thk 2 her, i hav slpless nite n my cough is back :( wad the... ... mb i shld sing her avril lavigne's sk8er boi too=) haha